Can anybody possibly take this stuff seriously, and pay good money for it? I found the site when J-Walk linked to the “Brilliant Pebbles” which are basically little plastic baggies full of rocks (cost of production approx. $0.10 apiece?) that you put in various places to enhance your stereo’s sound. Riiiight. I can almost see some value in the vibration-damping platforms, though that is rather a lot of technobabble for some springs and stuff. I can see “Codename Turquoise” fooling some people who don’t know what a laser actually is – hint for any such people: it doesn’t just shine light all over the place. If the “Clever Little Clock” has really been “extensively modified using a number of highly specialized techniques” I have to wonder what awesome results they might get using something other than a dime-store trinket as the starting point, though. Ditto for the equally-unspecified “proprietary materials-processing techniques” used to turn a cheap electrical wall plate into the Tru-Tone Duplex Cover that sells for a thousand times more. Most magical of all, though, must be the Teleportation Tweak.

The Teleportation Tweak has a profound effect on the sound – clearer, more information, greater frequency extension and realism – and is performed during a phone call to Machina Dynamica that can be made via landline phone or cell phone from any room in the house. The tweak itself takes about 20 seconds. The Teleportation Tweak will sound to the listener like a series of mechanical pulses. Further benefits will accrue by performing the Teleportation Tweak for ANY or ALL additional phones in the house. 30 day money back guarantee for this product.”

That’s right, for $60 they’ll call you on the phone and make some “mechanical pulse” noises at your stereo, which doesn’t even need to be turned on. And if you’re not satisfied with the results, they say the results get better with each phone they call you on. Wow. Do they have a recording of some industrial equipment, or do they just bang on some pots? This is clearly satire of audiophile mania. What’s not clear is whether the satire is intentional.