Originally from Snail in a Turtleneck, who deserves all the credit for a cool name and a good post.

I have a Twitter feed for the term “nosql” and every day I get tweets like:

“What moron came up with #nosql? you’re all fired!”

I hope I meet someone who says this to me someday, though, so I can say: “Boy, what a good point! If only Google and Yahoo and LinkedIn and Twitter and the thousands of other high-traffic websites had listened to you.

I see a lot of this stuff too, though in real life rather than Twitter. There are at least three points I almost always have to make when one of these trolls pops up.

  1. We already know it’s more about ACID than SQL. Not only is such a “critique” unoriginal, but it’s irrelevant as well because it really doesn’t change anything about the relationship between traditional vs. non-traditional databases.
  2. “Not Only SQL” isn’t about saying our flavor should be the only one. It’s about rejecting that attitude from the ACID grognards.
  3. The CAP Theorem and its practical application are real, not just things that only exist in a few caffeine-addled newbies’ heads . The theorem itself was presented by a respected academic in an ACM keynote. Since then it has been the subject of formal proof by other academics, while the value of its application has been empirically demonstrated by everyone from Amazon to Yahoo.

Those three points are usually sufficient to stun the trolls into silence, even if expecting them to grow up and admit their error or apologize for their rudeness is unrealistic. Now, if only I could find a similar deterrent for the “cloud is just grid” trolls.